DBC Does Tinder

I’m pretty sure every college student has had a tinder and has at least swiped left or right at at one point. So I made a Tinder for myself and just got way too creeped out.  So I made a fake one.  Used some socialights photo who was about my age.  Tinder is really a game when you think about it even when you get a match it says message them or keep playing.  So I played the game.  There where two rules in this game.
1. Only swipe right
2. BE the most boring individual possible


With in and hour I had 256 matches in only a two mile radius with a profile with nothing but my name and a photo and my phone was going off every second with new messages and matches.  Then the “game” started.  Within talking to someone in five minutes “I” had a date.  My only response to this person was “yeah” throughout the five minute conversation.  Who wants to date yeah?


Then things got a little more interesting.  With me making a one word response I got another “tinder date”,  I got offered to smoke weed and or drink cheap vodka.  Oh how so romantic.  I wonder why Nicolas Sparks never thought of these great dates.  If it takes a one word response to get invited on a date don’t go and don’t even think about going.


Then came the rugby player who figured me out.  This is probably the only positive I got someone who didn’t just want a pretty face to talk to.  I would say that 90% of my conversations started off with “you’re pretty” but to make it worse many of them used your.  Then there was the guy that said “You seem rad” sorry but you can not tell if someone is rad or not from the way they look in picture because it’s all fake.  Everything you read online can be fake and lies.  I’ll admit if I’m home watching Netflix and someone I like texts me I’ll defiantly say I’m out doing something.  My favorite though would have to be the guy that said “I lost my teddy bear and was wondering if I could sleep with you” Honey no, just no.


With in an hour I had twenty seven dates and hundreds of conversations going with me only responding with yeah, good, and cool.  A guy that had a horrible opening line asked to start over talking me after I was a complete bitch and when I stopped answering these posts the messages didn’t stop.


This little experiment was a lot more interesting that I thought it was going to be.   When my phone was going off with messages and matches I was wondering what I could do with this.  If I sounded interesting or went along with there conversations it would all lead to the same endpoint.  I thought it was crazy that in an hour I had over twenty dates when I was only saying one word showing no personality or even talking about my self.  Just think about this next time you’re on tinder.  Is it your words or your photos?


P.S.
The Worse first Messages I got
2 Miles away? I didn’t know heaven was so close?

 you could choose between having pokemon be real and world peace… What pokemon would be your starter?

Music make me a little crazy. How about you? Lol what’s up.

How did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

You can I holla for a dolla???

Do you have the boobies?


So did you swipe for the beard or the terrible pickup line?
If you were a transformer you’d be Optimusfine


Matches update
4:30- 256 matches
4:50 – 323 matches
6:28 – 426 matches

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